


Just Asked Me To Dinner

by TheBritishGovernment



Series: 00Q [12]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Bond is silly, M/M, Pre-Slash, Q is a Holmes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 06:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4169814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBritishGovernment/pseuds/TheBritishGovernment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bond is curious about his new Quartermaster and decides to look into his file, only to be intercepted by the eldest Holmes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Asked Me To Dinner

Bond was not one to have mysteries in his life. He knew everything about everyone he worked with. He didn’t bring up the information he knew until they “gave” him the information, but he knew it all. He had known the previous Q, a Major Geoffrey Boothroyd, had three children: two from his wife and one from his mistress. He knew that Mallory was at the hands of the IRA for three months and on occasion still visited a therapist for his PTSD. He knew that Moneypenny was one of M’s orphan recruits. And he knew that Tanner compartmentalized his life so well actually forgot about everything MI6 when he went home. 

That left Bond with the problem of who exactly the new Q was. He was just a letter. No one in Q-Branch knew anything about him. They just knew that he showed out of the blue one day and that the name he had given them was John Smith. They had all tried to look into him and found absolutely nothing. He had a file, but it was past all of their security clearances even when he had been new and none of them had wanted to break the MI6 firewall. Bond, on the other hand, was not above that.

He sat on his couch at five o’clock when the shifts changed in Q-Branch. A few people would be set up on their computers still, but for the most part no one would be paying attention to him trying to get into the MI6 servers. He started by trying the back door that should have been installed, but he couldn’t find it. He continued to search through the coding, before giving up and setting up to use brute force to get through the firewall.

Instead of giving way and letting him into Q’s file a video chat started up. A beautiful woman with shoulder length hair fixed him with a cold stare on the computer screen. 

“Hello, Mr. Bond,” she said in a smooth voice.

Bond stared for a moment before turning on the charm and smiled. “You seem to have caught me at a disadvantage. I don’t know your name.” He gave her a seductive look and a smirk.

“Why are you looking into Q, Mr. Bond?” she asked, completely ignoring what he had said.

“I’m just trying to read up on my new Quartermaster,” he said smoothly.

“I’m afraid that you can’t be allowed to do that, Mr. Bond,” she said tightly. She said his name like it was a weapon that she was reminding she had.

Bond dropped the charm and glared at her. “And why not?” 

She picked up her phone and looked down at the screen. “There is a car downstairs. Get in it.”

Bond gave her a suspicious look before closing the laptop. He stood up and grabbed his jacket off of the hook and slipped on his shoes. He checked the Colt that he had bought on the street for just such situations. Bond put the gun in his pocket and headed out his front door.

Just as the woman had said there was a car waiting for him. Next to it there was a burly man who opened the door for him and slid in next to him. There was another man on the other side of Bond and they all had their shoulders pressed together. 

The car took off and Bond tried to sort out what all of this had to do with the new Quartermaster. There was no way that it was MI6 that was behind the kidnapping of Bond. If it were MI6 Tanner would have just called him told him to knock it off with an annoyed voice. It was obviously someone else that was pulling the strings. He tried to sort out how MI6 had gotten a hold of someone that would have their own elaborate protection. He was running through the possible families and groups that would have that kind of protection when they pulled into the MI6 parking garage. 

The car stopped in front of the door and the men got out, pulling Bond with them. One man led him while two followed behind him. It was fairly reminiscent of any time he had been captured and taken to the leader. Without a word they lead him up to the executive level and into Moneypenny’s office outside M’s. 

Moneypenny was talking with the woman who had been on the video chat on Bond’s computer. “They’re waiting for you,” Moneypenny and the woman said together. The men stopped and Bond moved into Mallory’s office. 

Inside Mallory was sitting at his desk looking extremely uncomfortable along with a man in a three-piece suit who looked simply inconvenienced, practically lounging in one of the chairs in front of Mallory’s desk, Tanner who was standing behind Mallory’s desk looking like he had better things to be doing, and Q in the other chair who looked extremely irked by the situation.

“I told you that if anyone tried to access my file it’d be him,” Q said in a bored voice. “He tries to force himself into everyone’s files.”

“I usually do a pretty good job, too,” Bond said smoothly. He had elected to ignore everyone else in the room to focus on Q. The man in the three-piece suit was obviously who was making Mallory nervous, but Q seemed completely at home around him, which meant that he had some relation to the man. Q was the reason that everyone was there.

Q gave him a look that made him look like he was stupid. “Do you honestly believe that you see something other than what I allow you to see?”

“Do you make it a habit to fake MI6 files?” Bond asked.

“Do you make it a habit to break into MI6 files?” Q countered. 

“Is it a habit of yours to kidnap agents?” 

Mallory cut in sharply then. “007.” Bond turned and looked at his new boss. Mallory motioned towards the other man. “This is Mycroft Holmes. Please explain to him, and the rest of us, why you were attempting to break into Q’s file.”

Everyone stared at him for a long moment while he considered what answer, if any, he was going to give. “I like knowing who I’m working with.”

Mycroft stood up and looked at Bond. “Stop looking into Q. It’ll make all our lives easier,” he said in a threatening voice.

“Why do I care if your life is easier?” Bond countered. They glared at each other for a long time while the rest of the room watched. Q rolled his eyes dramatically at the feuding men in front of him, while Mallory and Tanner both became significantly more uncomfortable. 

“Goodbye, Mr. Bond,” Mycroft finally said and moved to leave the room. He turned back to the other men in the room and gave M and Tanner tight smiles that told them they had fucked up. “Mr. Mallory, Mr. Tanner, I apologize for the inconvenience. Q, I hope to never see you again.”

“Ditto,” Q grumbled. 

Mycroft left the room and Mallory stood up, glaring at Bond. “Don’t let me see you again for a long while. And stay out of files you’re not authorized to see. I don’t really need to be chewed out by the Mycroft Bloody Holmes again.”

Bond tried not to smile at Mallory’s rant. “Yes, sir.” He turned and went back into Moneypenny’s office. She was alone and typing on the computer. She looked up and smirked at Bond when he entered the room. 

“Well then. Q’s certainly important, isn’t he?”

“It would seem so,” Bond commented distractedly. His mind was racing about Q and his group of minions that magically made Mallory nervous. 

Q joined them a moment later. “Should I be getting on your good side?” Moneypenny asked him.

Q smiled at her. “Yes. Though not because of Mycroft, but because I’m an evil mastermind.” Q winked at her. 

Moneypenny laughed outright at him. “You’re no Moriarty,” Moneypenny said with a smile.

“I’m better.” She laughed again and Q smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Moneypenny.”

“Goodnight, Quartermaster,” she said cheerfully. 

Q turned to leave. As he moved past Bond he leaned close so that his mouth was just floating off of Bond’s ear. “If you wanted to know more about me you could have just asked me to dinner.” He moved back and smirked at Bond before leaving the room shaking his hips just a little more than necessary.

Bond smirked after him and Moneypenny pretended, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, that she had not just seen that.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for the sudden flood of fics coming from me. I'm trying to clean out my folders of stuff that's finished but not posted so there is more to come...sorry loves, bear with me.


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